The Empty Nest -- Living through a Transition of My Own -- and Making a Friend at the Border

Wow, I'm now experiencing the throws of my own transition -- letting my daughter go, to attend college in Canada. This is big. I knew it would be big, but not exactly how big. I'm finding myself deeply grieving, sometimes when I least expect it. It's beem helpful to speak about what I'm going through with friends. Being and speaking with good friends who allow me to be who I am in the moment helps create comfort and hope in my being.

Speaking of which, I had amazing thing happen at the U.S.-Canadian border on my way home from dropping my daughter off: As I was leaving Vancouver, I asked Spirit that I would have a positive experience at the border. When I got in line to cross the border, I got a "hit" that I was in the right lane. I also did not have to wait very long. They were saying 25 minutes, but I believe I was only waiting for no more than 20 minutes. When I got to the gate, it was a younger woman inspector. There was a male guard standing with her, for some reason. She asked me where my residence was. Then she asked me about the purpose of my visit to Canada. When I told her that I had come up to "release my daughter to U.B.C.," she said that she had just let her daughter go to attend kindergarten for the first time.

Then I started to get really emotional and told her that I was just recently thinking nostalgically about the first day I put Heather on a school but to let her go to kindergarten! We had a lovely moment of recognition, and she quickly sent me on my way. Such a sweet experience, one woman to another, making friends at the borderline.

Hoping and praying that we are all finding friends and supporters along this journey of transitions, changes, and transformations, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. If you are interested in my articles at Examiner.com, please see this link.

The Mysterious Gift of Life... and Death

Marv and Nancy Hiles, the "keepers" of the Iona Center in Healdsburg, CA, publish a journal called The Way Through. In their most recent issue (Spring-Summer 2009), I enjoyed reading the following piece by Marv entitled "Living Giving Dying":

"Walking across the sticky surface of aging the other day, I stopped in my tracks and remembered some rather traditional advice about growing older and dying. Its argument is that since we have been given life, we should consciously offer it back little by little. This is straightforward, and all it requires is an attitude of gratitude while giving back what has been given us so abundantly. It echoes the words of the Bible that say, 'Freely you have received, freely give.' Furthermore, it is only fair to move over and make room so the next generation can experience life as pure gift. It is all about conscious aging and dying. To "offer back" and to "make room" are things I can do consciously in the heat and chills of this mostly slow dissolution. Mary Morrison's wonderful little book Let Evening Come is as clear and warm as one can read about the generosity of spirit that can follow us from all our days and henceforward."

In this time when our whole nation is a-buzz with a discourse around end-of-life care issues, it seems important to remember that our lives, in the end, are a mysterious gift. Last Sunday I helped facilitate a memorial service. During the service I used a prayer that shares the following: "We enter into life in a mystery and leave it in a mystery. Through all our days we are upheld by a power we do not fully understand. Joy comes to us beyond our expectation, and difficulty beyond our imagining. Teach us the faith that, if we persist, we shall know the truth and be glad of life through all our days. ... Turn our eyes and hearts again to the world of the living, ... to a life of sympathy and generosity for ALL who live and grow and die, ..."

Here's to a "generosity of spirit" to each one of us, as we live, grow (change!), and die. May we deeply give love, receive love, and share love -- while we are in the Land of the Living.

Deep Joy and Generous Love to each of you, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. If you are interested in the end-of-life discussion that's going on in our country, I invite you to have a look at some of my recent articles on Examiner.com as the Transitions & Grief Examiner.

Living through the Shift -- in the midst of Powerful Days

There is no question that we are moving through some big changes these days. I was heartened to hear President Obama eloquently answer a fearful question related to end-of-life issues that was posed to him at the AARP town hall meeting last Tuesday (for details, see my article at Examiner.com). I've been wondering ever since if any president in the past has ever spoken publicly on end-of-life care, encouraging people to think ahead and be prepared for our transitions into the next realm. Thank you, Dear President! I applaud your courage and foresight.

On another note, today is the last of a series of three eclipses, tomorrow is a full moon, and today through the 7th (Friday) are supposed to be some very important powerful days on the planet: Days to meditatae on the unity, cooperation, and the oneness that is possible on the Earth. For more details on this, I invite you to see another article (material from Judy Moore) from Examiner.com.

No matter what's going on in your life right now, the most important thing you can do is to stay in joy and remember to share the love. We are so blessed to be experiencing the miracle of life on this precious Earth! Enjoy the ride... or "ride the wave," as my great aunt Gladys used to say! Dancing heart~~~

A Gentle Death: story (slideshow) about a community of Sisters of St. Joseph

This thoughtful slideshow just came out through the The New York Times. It is about the Mother House of the convent of the Sisters of Joseph, a Rochester home specifically built for sisters who are preparing for the end of their lives. They are supported through their end of life with special care that suits their needs at this unique time. When you have the chance, do have a look.

Dying does belong at home, and in community. (As Rabbi Zalman Shachter-Shalomi reminds us, we've pathologized death by taking it to the hospital in the last 100 years.) And it means so much when older people can have the spiritual and moral support they need directly in their homes and residences when they need it. Aging people who live in community with loved ones and people they can trust, remember that they are loved and cared for. Therefore, they can relax better, and even have less pain and suffering. What a beautiful way to model for our society what is possible!

Thank you, Sisters of Joseph, for opening up your home and life for us so that we can have a glimpse of your beauty, wisdom, and gentleness. May your compassion and hope be seen by and touch many.

Infinite Peace and Healing, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. If you are in the Seattle area, I'll be presenting my book at Barnes & Noble (Crossroads, Bellevue) this Sat., 2-3PM, and at EastWest Bookshop (Bothell Branch) on July 31, 7:30 PM. See details here.

Also, for more articles on the body-mind-spirit healing modalities, see my articles on Examiner.com.

The Deep Compassion that Hospice Workers Share

I've just been getting my feet wet again in some hospice counseling work. It's surprisingly very good to be back at doing this work; and one of the main reasons is that I'm working with a team. I'm being reminded how important it is to have a group of people that one works with. It's been way too long that I've been trying to do things "by myself" -- not by intention so much as that's just the way it's turned out. And now I know that I need teammates. I'm determined to find others to work with and help me in my business(es).

Meanwhile, I'm so impressed by the compassion that my teammates share with their hospice people and families. I recently made a joint visit with one of my nurse colleagues. Her behavior with a gentleman who was struggling with some dementia and congestive heart failure (and who knows what else) was so touching that I was moved to tears. She gave such wonderful care to this man that it was as if she was a member of his family herself! Even though he was not able to respond that actively to her, she kindly talked to him during the whole visit. She also touched him in gentle and very appropriate ways, as she diapered him and wrapped his weeping legs with the gauze and bandages. I truly was amazed and impressed by her love and care.

We humans are so unique and so special. And no matter what is going on in our lives, we deserve to be treated with dignity, love, and gentleness. I'm convinced more than ever before that hospice is a vitally needed and quietly powerful and transforming organization in our world today.

If you have not considered it, I would invite you to consider becoming a volunteer for hospice. This experience will powerfully transform and grow your life through love -- guaranteed!

Blessings of Love and deLight, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. By the way, I read some interesting material on Karen Bishop's WINGS update re Michael Jackson's death and his "higher level energy". Check out the last seven paragraphs of this link, if you'd like to read more.

If you're interested in Body-Mind-Spirit Tools for Healing, see Dancing Heart's website's Link Page.

And if you enjoyed this article, you may be interested in taking a look at my Examiner.com site for more articles on related topics.

Do Celebrity Deaths Happen in Threes -- as My Daughter's Friend Suggests?

This week was a week to remember in America: Three of America's cultural icons, Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, and now Billy Mays took their last breaths on this precious earth. Michael, the King of Pop, and Billy Mays, the television pitchman, were only 50 years old; Farah the knockout with the glamorous hair, was 62. Interestingly, Michael and Farah, who both died on June 25th, struggled with ravages of the body, one in the form of issues with the physical heart, the other with the ravages of cancer. Billy Mays is suspected to have died due to some head trauma that had occurred yesterday, at the end of a bumpy flight when something hit him very hard on the head.

Our hearts go out to the extremely talented and eccentric, genius of a singer, dancer, and performer, Michael Jackson, who among other things, brought deep hope and glory to his hometown, Gary Indiana. He also was adored and appreciated by many, along with his brothers, to help collapse and ease old racial barriers and Heal the World (We Are the World).

We also mourn the loss of the beautiful, sexy Farah, well known for her role as "the pretty one" in Charlie's Angels, leaving a legacy of determination to prove that she could play against her image and defy expectations ("The Burning Bed" and "Extremities"). She became a role model for actors who have been typecast and every star whose talent has been questioned.

And we mourn the loss of Billy Mays. Discovery Channel spokeswoman Elizabeth Hillman commented about Billy saying, "Everyone that knows him was aware of his larger-than-life personality, generosity and warmth. Billy was a pioneer in his field and helped many people fulfill their dreams. He will be greatly missed as a loyal and compassionate friend."

Michael's and Farah's lives were cut short, in part because they became caught in the pressure cooker of being in the limelight of notoriety. They had to live their lives in fishbowls, often without the privacy or freedom that they may have desired. Their lives were in many ways paradoxal, and their shadow sides and demons that they struggled with remind us of our own. At this time, it would seem that Billy's life was cut short by a coincidental accident.

Most of all, however, their loss reminds us of the fragility of life. We never know when life will end for us on this fragile earth. We often think we're invincible, we tend to take our bodies for granted and work them very hard; and we imagine that we're "in control." However, in the end, we are not in control. Probably we are never in control. Life happens to us; and life does not always go the way we think that it will, or imagine that it could. We need to be prepared for the last adventure of life at all times, for we know not when it will come.

This is an opportunity for us all to take a deep breath, while we give thanks for the life that we have be given. Life is good! Life is sacred and very special. May we honor and hold close to our hearts all those who have gone before us. And as we grieve and mourn the loss of these gifted, yet fragile human lives, may we resolve to make the most of our lives, shining the Light and Love -- who we really are! Thank you, Michael, Farah, and Billy, for the Love & Light that you shone and now shine on... Thank you for your magical, healing ways. May you live on in bright and beautiful ways, giving hope, joy, and determination, especially for those who must pick up the pieces and move on in their lives without you.

In deep gratitude for the gift of life itself, and for the unique, precious gift of each unique and special one on the planet, Dancing heart~~~

For another look at the "synchronicity" or coincidence of Michael's and Farah's deaths, see Toni Elizabeth Sar'h's youtube.

If you're interested in Body-Mind-Spirit Tools for Healing, see Dancing Heart's website's Link Page.

And if you enjoyed this article, you may be interested in taking a look at my Examiner.com site for more articles on related topics.

Moving Beyond Consuming

Speaking of releasing and letting go, Raphael Cushnir is an inspiring author (The One Thing Holding You Back, Setting Your Heart on Fire, etc.) and speaker who is helping us open our eyes to the challenges we face as materialistic consumers. He has developed a beautiful Youtube called Beyond Consuming. (You can view it here, too.) I received word about this through an email recently and wanted to pass this beautiful message along today.

What are your views on consumerism and how are you creating ways to materially lighten up your life? I'd love to hear from you. Happy forgiving, releasing, letting go, and moving on! Dancing heart~~~

Raphael Cushnir is a leading voice in the world of emotional connection and Present Moment Awareness. He has shared his unique approach to personal and professional development with millions of readers in O, The Oprah Magazine, Beliefnet, Spirituality and Health, Psychology Today and the Huffington Post. He has also authored three previous books, lectures worldwide, and is a faculty member of the Esalen Institute, and the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. In addition, he coaches individuals and teams at Fortune 100 companies, governments, religious organizations, and leading non-profits. For more info: cushnir.com.