Last year I was invited to do an interview with Eva Ravenwood that turned out to be the best interview I've had so far since my book first came out in 2005. Eva let me know that I could invite a guest on the show with me. I thought of Diane Goble, a remarkable woman who lived through a near death experience. During the show, Eva asked Diane to speak about her NDE. I was interested that Diane spoke about it as a tremendous expansion in consciousness.
As I look back on my years of work with hospice as a spiritual and bereavement counselor, I see that the entire experience was rather like a very gradual near death experience: I did not actually experience my own physical death, but I came so close to so many who were experiencing the dying process and the depths of the grieving process that much of it rubbed off on me. It was as if a part of me was having a taste part of the experience, too, and over time I received some of the gifts that a person who has a NDE typically receives.
The following are some of the gifts that I have received as I see it:
1. There is so much more than meets the eye.
2. Death is nothing to fear; it is only another doorway to another form of life, because life never ends. It simply transforms.
3. Everyone has a purpose in coming to Earth. Therefore, everyone and everything is special -- sacred.
4. We are all interconnected. Therefore, we are all one. God/dess, or the Infinite Intelligence is the glue that holds us altogether.
5. The more we tune into the magic and mystery of life, the more it is apparent in our lives. (Whatever we focus on expands.)
6. Our intuition can grow significantly when we honor it and use it to expand our purpose in life.
If you are desiring to grow spiritually, I highly recommend that you consider hospice work. You could start as a volunteer, as hospices are always looking for people who can volunteer with their patients and families. Just look up a local hospice in your neighborhood and contact the Volunteer Coordinator. She (or he) will be more than happy to explain how the process works. As you sign up for this, if you haven't done so already, you might want to look into getting a hold of a copy of my book, THE LAST ADVENTURE OF LIFE!
Deep Blessings of Peace and Light to you -- as we move closer to more light (and spring!) each day, Dancing heart~~~
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Hope and Joy Coming Back...
Thanks to a new friend, I attended the Seattle Unity Church for a Sunday service for the first time yesterday morning. There was a tremendous sense of energy and joy there -- a kind of buzz was in the air. People young and old were there to celebrate God/dess, spirituality, and the power of the imagination, in great diversity. A host of faith traditions were honored in the sanctuary with altars and tapestries above them representing a variety of world religions, too.
Then, last night I shed tears of joy as I watched pieces from the inaugural concert that took place in Washington D.C. at the Lincoln Memorial. What a powerful, auspicious, synchronistic time we are living through: Martin Luther King Jr. Day is being celebrated today, on the eve of the inauguration of our new and first black American President of the United States, Barack Obama! This is a time for celebration, joy, and hope throughout the world, a time when some long awaited dreams are becoming a reality in the new history that is being recorded. One could say that the world helped awaken our country to the powerful, spiritual leader we had in our midst, and now we can together -- the world over -- celebrate a new beginning.
I want to share with you a simple, beautiful poem has been spoken by Bryan Lynch since the election. I heard part of it quoted last evening on television, too:
Rosa sat so Martin could walk.
Martin walked so Barack could run.
Barack ran so our children can fly!
Enjoy the new and wonderful flight, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. Relatedly, here's a link to a New Song that my friend Sandi Kimmel has been singing. Please listen and pass along to your friends.
Then, last night I shed tears of joy as I watched pieces from the inaugural concert that took place in Washington D.C. at the Lincoln Memorial. What a powerful, auspicious, synchronistic time we are living through: Martin Luther King Jr. Day is being celebrated today, on the eve of the inauguration of our new and first black American President of the United States, Barack Obama! This is a time for celebration, joy, and hope throughout the world, a time when some long awaited dreams are becoming a reality in the new history that is being recorded. One could say that the world helped awaken our country to the powerful, spiritual leader we had in our midst, and now we can together -- the world over -- celebrate a new beginning.
I want to share with you a simple, beautiful poem has been spoken by Bryan Lynch since the election. I heard part of it quoted last evening on television, too:
Rosa sat so Martin could walk.
Martin walked so Barack could run.
Barack ran so our children can fly!
Enjoy the new and wonderful flight, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. Relatedly, here's a link to a New Song that my friend Sandi Kimmel has been singing. Please listen and pass along to your friends.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Words for the Bereaved -- Some Suggestions
Happy New Year~! I hope that you are enjoying the new energies of 2009. May this be a wonderful year of transitions -- with grace and ease, as much as possible. Speaking of which, I was asked to put some of my thoughts down re some of the best and worst things a person can say to someone who's lost a loved one. Here are some of my reflections on this:
Some of the worst things a person can say after a friend/acquaintance loses a loved one are phrases that assume things, such as "I know what you're going through," "You'll get over it," or "God never gives a person more than they can handle." Often, unintentionally of course, the friend wants to say what makes them feel better. So they try to fix the situation, whereas the person in grief needs comfort, consolation, and a listening ear. The grieving person usually appreciates simple "presence," a feeling that they can be held, cared for, and allowed to be exactly where they are.
Some of the best things a person might say are "I'm so sorry," "I love you (and your loved one who passed)," or "I'm very sorry that you're having to go through this situation. Is there any way that I can help?" Then make sure that you follow through when you get a response on how the person wants your help.
Sometimes silence is the best. The friend might simply give the grieving person a big bear hug and let them cry as much as they need. Then, they could let them know how much they're loved and that they will stand with them through this challenging time in whatever way they need. Intuition helps a lot here... gently let the grieving person guide the way, as everyone grieves differently, too.
A grieving person also needs to process what happened. Open-ended questions about what and how things happened are good, once they seem ready to talk. Questions like "What happened?" "How did (your loved one) die?" “How are you taking this all in?" "Tell me about how you're managing to cope with your loss?" can be helpful at this time.
Hope these reflections are helpful. Perhaps you have some comments or stories around this issue. I would be delighted to hear your reflections. Please be in touch. Have a blessed day, and year, Dancing heart~~~
Some of the worst things a person can say after a friend/acquaintance loses a loved one are phrases that assume things, such as "I know what you're going through," "You'll get over it," or "God never gives a person more than they can handle." Often, unintentionally of course, the friend wants to say what makes them feel better. So they try to fix the situation, whereas the person in grief needs comfort, consolation, and a listening ear. The grieving person usually appreciates simple "presence," a feeling that they can be held, cared for, and allowed to be exactly where they are.
Some of the best things a person might say are "I'm so sorry," "I love you (and your loved one who passed)," or "I'm very sorry that you're having to go through this situation. Is there any way that I can help?" Then make sure that you follow through when you get a response on how the person wants your help.
Sometimes silence is the best. The friend might simply give the grieving person a big bear hug and let them cry as much as they need. Then, they could let them know how much they're loved and that they will stand with them through this challenging time in whatever way they need. Intuition helps a lot here... gently let the grieving person guide the way, as everyone grieves differently, too.
A grieving person also needs to process what happened. Open-ended questions about what and how things happened are good, once they seem ready to talk. Questions like "What happened?" "How did (your loved one) die?" “How are you taking this all in?" "Tell me about how you're managing to cope with your loss?" can be helpful at this time.
Hope these reflections are helpful. Perhaps you have some comments or stories around this issue. I would be delighted to hear your reflections. Please be in touch. Have a blessed day, and year, Dancing heart~~~
Sunday, December 28, 2008
An En-Couraging Verse -- "All Soul's Day"
The more I'm involved in this End-of-life and Grief Coaching work, the more I'm realizing how many "learning opportunities" our society has in these areas. We are a culture that for the most part would like to ignore death and grief at any cost. We would rather do almost anything else than speak about the inevitable. How ironic, especially since we consider ourselves to be an "advanced" culture...
This work is actually some of the most important work we could be doing while we are alive. A volunteer firefighter on Whidbey Island who happens to be Buddhist once told me that in his religious thought, birth was the difficult part; "death is easy, because we have the rest of our lives to prepare for it!" he commented. So, it is critical that we find ways to create courage and speak creatively around these still unpopular and rather taboo topics.
Recently, I was online, visiting a local death midwife's website, and I found this most beautiful poem called "All Soul's Day". Thank you, Marilyn Strong and D.H. Lawrence, for reminding me how gentle we need to be around our dying; and how necessary it is to be ready for it when it comes. I love the idea of helping each other prepare a "little ship" for our voyage to the great beyond. I invite you, too, to savor this delightfully creative verse about death and the hereafter:
Be careful, then, and be gentle about death.
For it is hard to die, it is difficult to go through
The door, even when it opens.
And the poor dead, when they have left the walled
And silvery city of the now hopeless body
Where are they to go, Oh where are they to go?
They linger in the shadow of the earth.
The earth's long conical shadow is full of souls
That cannot find the way across the sea of change.
Be kind, Oh be kind to your dead
And give them a little encouragement
And help them to build their little ship of death.
For the soul has a long, long journey after death
To the sweet home of pure oblivion.
Each needs a little ship, a little ship
And the proper store of meal for the longest journey.
Oh, from out of your heart
Provide for your dead once more, equip them
Like departing mariners, lovingly.
-- D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)
Blessings be upon us as we say goodbye to one year, and welcome in a new and hopeful one -- another death and rebirth experience that can help us prepare for life's last great adventure! Happy "releasing" into 2009, Dancing heart~~~
P.S. If you are local, please note that I will be leading a Day Seminar on "Joyful Transitions" on the second day of the New Year -- this coming Friday -- at the Nonviolent Communication Training Center in the Greenwood Neighborhood of Seattle. Please see details on how to register on the Scheduled Events page of my website.
This work is actually some of the most important work we could be doing while we are alive. A volunteer firefighter on Whidbey Island who happens to be Buddhist once told me that in his religious thought, birth was the difficult part; "death is easy, because we have the rest of our lives to prepare for it!" he commented. So, it is critical that we find ways to create courage and speak creatively around these still unpopular and rather taboo topics.
Recently, I was online, visiting a local death midwife's website, and I found this most beautiful poem called "All Soul's Day". Thank you, Marilyn Strong and D.H. Lawrence, for reminding me how gentle we need to be around our dying; and how necessary it is to be ready for it when it comes. I love the idea of helping each other prepare a "little ship" for our voyage to the great beyond. I invite you, too, to savor this delightfully creative verse about death and the hereafter:
Be careful, then, and be gentle about death.
For it is hard to die, it is difficult to go through
The door, even when it opens.
And the poor dead, when they have left the walled
And silvery city of the now hopeless body
Where are they to go, Oh where are they to go?
They linger in the shadow of the earth.
The earth's long conical shadow is full of souls
That cannot find the way across the sea of change.
Be kind, Oh be kind to your dead
And give them a little encouragement
And help them to build their little ship of death.
For the soul has a long, long journey after death
To the sweet home of pure oblivion.
Each needs a little ship, a little ship
And the proper store of meal for the longest journey.
Oh, from out of your heart
Provide for your dead once more, equip them
Like departing mariners, lovingly.
-- D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)
Blessings be upon us as we say goodbye to one year, and welcome in a new and hopeful one -- another death and rebirth experience that can help us prepare for life's last great adventure! Happy "releasing" into 2009, Dancing heart~~~
P.S. If you are local, please note that I will be leading a Day Seminar on "Joyful Transitions" on the second day of the New Year -- this coming Friday -- at the Nonviolent Communication Training Center in the Greenwood Neighborhood of Seattle. Please see details on how to register on the Scheduled Events page of my website.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
No One Can Predict What Will Happen
A lovely synchronistic re-connection happened to me last week. I literally "ran into" a friend I hadn't seen in months at the SF Airport upon heading to the Big Island in Hawaii. My friend is in the midst of caring for his 94-year-old mother who is receiving hospice care. As we talked further about his situation a few days later over some lunch, my friend shared with me that he had made a rather magical connection with a well respected Emergency Care doctor in a coffee shop earlier this year. As soon as this doctor heard that he was caring for his dying mother, she told him the following four things:
1) You are on a severe learning curve;
2) No one can predict what will happen (despite many who may think that they can!);
3) You are under more stress than you think you are; and
4) You must do things to take care of your stress, both for you and for the sake of your mother who you are caring for.
My friend acknowledged that he has used the doctor's words as his mantra as he's been caring for his mother over the course of the year. His mother is very close to death now; and the words still ring true for him. I wanted to share them with you here, as they ring true for me also. As I have mentioned before, if you are caring for a loved one, please remember to take very good care of yourself. Your life (and your loved one's life) depend on it.
Have a wonderful, joyous holy-day season. And Blessed Solstice, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. While on the Big Island, I also met Phillip Jones, a hospice spiritual counselor, psychotherapist, and author of a beautiful book titled Light on Death: The Spiritual Art of Dying. I invite you to take a look at it.
1) You are on a severe learning curve;
2) No one can predict what will happen (despite many who may think that they can!);
3) You are under more stress than you think you are; and
4) You must do things to take care of your stress, both for you and for the sake of your mother who you are caring for.
My friend acknowledged that he has used the doctor's words as his mantra as he's been caring for his mother over the course of the year. His mother is very close to death now; and the words still ring true for him. I wanted to share them with you here, as they ring true for me also. As I have mentioned before, if you are caring for a loved one, please remember to take very good care of yourself. Your life (and your loved one's life) depend on it.
Have a wonderful, joyous holy-day season. And Blessed Solstice, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. While on the Big Island, I also met Phillip Jones, a hospice spiritual counselor, psychotherapist, and author of a beautiful book titled Light on Death: The Spiritual Art of Dying. I invite you to take a look at it.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Number One Job for Caregivers: Take Good Care of Yourself!
Recently I put together an article on Spirituality and Caring for the person dealing with Alzheimer's Disease. As I wrote the article, I realized that the most important thing a caregiver can do is take good care of him or herself, so that they can keep doing the important work of care giving that they do. Here are suggestions I might offer anyone who is caring for their loved one, especially during the holidays.
1) Do you sometimes take time out to grieve and let the emotions flow?
2) Do you have good friends and/or a counselor you can completely “be yourself” with?
3) Do you have a spiritual life that you are developing? It’s good if you have a spiritual community you worship with as well as a private spiritual practice that you honor daily -- or at least frequently -- in your life.
4) How and when do you have fun? Who are the people in your life that you can “play with”? Are there ways that you can foster humor and laughter in your life?
5) How and when do you take time to relax? Did you know that something as simple as holding each of your fingers for 3 – 4 minutes can help you relax (See p. 198 of my 2nd edition book)? You could also take a bath with some Lavender or Frankincense oil sprinkled in to help you relax and connect with Spirit – your inner wealth of joy, peace, harmony, and courage! (Frankincense is a wonderful oil to help your loved one when he or she may be belligerent. Simply place a few drops of it in the palm of your hands, rub your hands together and smell the oil yourself. Then, make sure that you are in close proximity to your loved one and that they get to smell the aroma, too. You should see them relaxing very shortly. Another thing you might try is to visualize your loved one surrounded by the color pink. Pink is a wonderful color to help sooth anyone who is stressed…)
6) Who and what nourishes you? Do you take time to go to classes and/or practice any of your hobbies? Creativity, along with gratitude, is one of the fastest ways out of fear (and depression), so find new and fun ways to be creative in your life.
Here's to you taking better care of yourself in this Season when we celebrate Love. May you always know the Beauty, Love, and Light who you are, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. You might also take a look at the bibliography I offer specifically for the caregiver on pp. 241-242 (2nd edition). Here's the link to the bibliography on my website.
1) Do you sometimes take time out to grieve and let the emotions flow?
2) Do you have good friends and/or a counselor you can completely “be yourself” with?
3) Do you have a spiritual life that you are developing? It’s good if you have a spiritual community you worship with as well as a private spiritual practice that you honor daily -- or at least frequently -- in your life.
4) How and when do you have fun? Who are the people in your life that you can “play with”? Are there ways that you can foster humor and laughter in your life?
5) How and when do you take time to relax? Did you know that something as simple as holding each of your fingers for 3 – 4 minutes can help you relax (See p. 198 of my 2nd edition book)? You could also take a bath with some Lavender or Frankincense oil sprinkled in to help you relax and connect with Spirit – your inner wealth of joy, peace, harmony, and courage! (Frankincense is a wonderful oil to help your loved one when he or she may be belligerent. Simply place a few drops of it in the palm of your hands, rub your hands together and smell the oil yourself. Then, make sure that you are in close proximity to your loved one and that they get to smell the aroma, too. You should see them relaxing very shortly. Another thing you might try is to visualize your loved one surrounded by the color pink. Pink is a wonderful color to help sooth anyone who is stressed…)
6) Who and what nourishes you? Do you take time to go to classes and/or practice any of your hobbies? Creativity, along with gratitude, is one of the fastest ways out of fear (and depression), so find new and fun ways to be creative in your life.
Here's to you taking better care of yourself in this Season when we celebrate Love. May you always know the Beauty, Love, and Light who you are, Dancing heart~~~
p.s. You might also take a look at the bibliography I offer specifically for the caregiver on pp. 241-242 (2nd edition). Here's the link to the bibliography on my website.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
How to Send Holyday Greetings to One Who May Be Very Sick or Facing Death
I just got this question on email, and I've decided to answer it here as well. I would say first and foremost, write/come from the heart! Be as open and honest as you can be with your friend. Let them know that you are concerned about them, that you wish the best for them, and that you still hope that they might be healed. Remember that there are all kinds of "healing," when you say/write this. And include this feeling as you write. Also, if you are someone who prays, let your friend know that you are praying for them; this almost always means a lot. Perhaps, too, you can remind them that their Spiritual Selves are completely whole and well, and that they can let their Spiritual selves guide and nourish their way...
Please also feel free to visit my website and links here and also share it with others ;) Additionally, I have developed some lovely gift baskets called Soul Baskets for those going through all kinds of transitions! Please visit this website for more information on these. During the month of December, I can send these baskets out with FREE SHIPPING. Just let me know that you saw my message here when you order.
Blessed Advent, and Happy Holydays! Dancing heart~~~
Please also feel free to visit my website and links here and also share it with others ;) Additionally, I have developed some lovely gift baskets called Soul Baskets for those going through all kinds of transitions! Please visit this website for more information on these. During the month of December, I can send these baskets out with FREE SHIPPING. Just let me know that you saw my message here when you order.
Blessed Advent, and Happy Holydays! Dancing heart~~~
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