The Importance of Nourishing/Loving YourSelf

From time to time in my life I seem to get powerful reminders to nourish and love myself. Recently I had such an experience when I visited a Polish healer. I was guided to visit him intuitively after meeting a charming Polish couple last week at one of the Amega wanding parties I've been attending.

After I received the energetic healing from this healer, he wanted to talk with me about self-love. He eventually sat me down and continued to expound on the need for me to love myself. He said that it was very important that I love myself deeply and that I love and forgive everyone in my past -- all the lifetimes, and especially all the men in my life. He suggested that I practice the exercise (that I actually learned awhile back, and have mentioned in my new book, The Most Important Day of Your Life) of looking into the mirror every morning and saying to myself again and again: "I love you, Maria Dancing heart."

Mark also shared with me that many women are coming to him at this time. The women are the ones ready to heal -- and change -- right now, he said. The men, not so much. And he added that all women need to heal by releasing and forgiving all of the past, especially the men in our lives. This was not new information to me, but it was interesting to hear an echo of what I've been hearing, and a powerful reminder to continue to work with my own healing, loving, self-care, etc.

This makes me think of a conversation I had last weekend with Mary Lane, author of Divine Nourishment: A Woman's Sacred Journey with Food. During our conversation she shared re the powerful connection between the divine feminine and death. It makes complete sense that as the divine feminine rises on the planet, we are gradually learning how to accept and befriend death, not to mention the "shadow-side" of life. The two go hand in hand. Then, just this morning I was communicating with Betty Kovacs, author of The Miracle of Death, in connection with my new book and its beautiful cover, she wrote about the need for beauty to be associated with death. Again, it seems totally fitting that as the feminine aspect of life comes alive and we re-integrate death into life, we also see it in its full beauty!

Blessings of Joy, Beauty, Hope, and Love to you all in these times of facing and "embracing" the shadow sides of life, too, Dancing heart~~~

Death Care Reform in America

I got inspired tonight to think about some ways that we might reform how we deal with death and grief in the United States. Here are some beginning thoughts that I had. I hope that after reading them, you'll respond and let me know additional ideas and suggestions you have.

1. Face our fears about death -- go deeper into our spiritual practice -- and find ways to overcome them.

2. Learn to embrace our experiences with grief. We can see them as opportunities to grow.

3. Develop more gentle acceptance and appreciation of the aging process in our own lives.

4. Start the conversation with our loved ones sooner rather than later, letting intuition and courage be our guide.

5. Find ways to be proactive about death and grief: Have the courage to speak and share emotions around these issues when they come up naturally -- openly, with love and gentleness.

6. Make end-of-life and funeral plans and share them with our loved ones. Visit sites like agingwithdignity.org and the Five Wishes Document, or my website. Explore aging, death, and the afterlife and ponder the unknown future and the mystery of it all. If your parents aren't planning for the inevitable, start planning yourself and share your plans with your parents. Then, they can be gently and naturally guided to explore something that's difficult for them to approach.

7. In whatever creative ways that we can, help hospitals to create a more gentle, loving space for death. This is beginning to happen, thanks to Palliative Care programs in numerous hospitals.

8. Get acquainted with local palliative care and hospice programs in your community; they are the way-showers for us in this area and can teach us a lot. Consider becoming a volunteer at a local hospice.

9. Become more knowledgeable about the death and grief rituals of our cultural and religious heritages. Then, broaden our horizons and become more knowledgeable about the same rituals of other cultures and religions that are different from our own. They may well have something to teach us.

May our creativity and imaginations guide our way! Blessings on our lives... and good deaths, Dancing heart~~~

"Every Visit Is a Spiritual Visit"

Last week I met a gentleman on our hospice -- a doctor, actually -- who made an interesting comment to me. I introduced myself as the spiritual counselor and said something about how we could have a "spiritual visit." His response was something like: "Every visit is a spiritual visit." I thought that was a pretty cool response! This doctor understands the underlying quality of spirituality around all people, all connections, and all life.

Meanwhile, I also attended a "Living with Grief" seminar last week, the 17th Annual Teleconference sponsored by the Hospice Foundation of America. This teleconference focused on "Cancer and End-of-Life Care" and was quite well done. I heard some helpful and wise comments being shared during the three-hour program. Some of these were:

1) Hospice should not be "brink of death" care!
2) No matter what the patient is dealing with, there is always something that can be done (to ease the person's suffering).
3) Uncertainty makes doctors and scientists in particular very uncomfortable.
4) As the cancer progresses, "com-passion" is key. Attentive listening -- being present and honoring all that is said -- and asking meaningful questions can also be helpful.
5) Hospice can often bring a calming influence into a difficult situation.
6) There is significance in the telling of and sharing stories, especially as the end-of-life draws near.

One question I might leave you with from the seminar is: "What is a good death?" What might you consider to be a good death? What would be some of the ingredients, if you were considering your own death, or the death of a close loved one?

If you're interested in learning more about what hospice is, I invite you to see my article, "What Is Hospice Care, Anyway?" that is available on the home page of my website.

Blessings on the journey, and have a most Blessed Easter! Dancing heart~~~

p.s. If you are interested in some titles related to end-of-life care, you might like to see the last two articles at my Examiner.com site.

ANPO, My Sister Linda's Second Documentary related to U.S.-Japanese Relations Coming in June

Linda Hoaglund, the co-producer of Wings of Defeat (2007), is getting ready to debut her second film this June. It is called ANPO, the Japanese abbreviated name for the U.S.-Japan Mutual Security Treaty that was negotiated in 1951, after WWII; and it comes at a critical time between U.S. - Japan relations.

ANPO opens as a squadron of F-16 fighter jets thunder directly over local traffic to land on Kadena, the largest U.S. airbase in Asia. Ten miles south, the urban homes that crowd Futenma Marine Corps Air Station shake from the numbing drone of C-130 cargo planes whose novice pilots repeatedly practice “touch-and-go” take-offs and landings.

The U.S. base at Futenma is one of 30 bases in Okinawa, an island that makes up only 1% of Japan’s land mass while shouldering the burden of 75% of the U.S. military installations in Japan. That presence includes over 28,000 American troops. America’s military presence was negotiated in 1951 under the terms of the lopsided U.S.-Japan Mutual Security Treaty, known in Japan as “ANPO.” Under its provisions, American soldiers who rape Japanese women and girls are seldom prosecuted. Prime farming lands have been confiscated from farmers to extend jet runways. Civilians are killed in hit-and-run accidents by drunken US servicemen with few held to account. In one egregious case, a woman collecting shell casings to sell as scrap metal was shot in the back and killed by a U.S. soldier who served no time for her death.

Protests by Japanese enraged by the onerous terms of the security treaty have generally been ignored by Japan’s ruling party. Yet for a brief window of time during the summer of 1960, shopkeepers, children, and housewives joined a coalition of artists, farmers, students, laborers, and intellectuals in a series of massive demonstrations to block the renewal of the treaty. Hundreds of thousands of protestors marched on the Japanese parliament to demand an end to the unequal partnership with Washington. Among the protesters were some of Japan's most talented artists. They used the creativity of their paintings, film, photography, manga, and music to give a powerful voice to the protests and to document the many ways in which the American military presence has intruded upon Japanese life and sovereignty.

ANPO showcases the resulting artistic treasure trove that has been largely locked away in Japanese museum vaults and film archives to take an unprecedented look back into a forgotten period of Japanese history, when a nascent democratic movement almost changed the course of an entire nation. The artists speak about how the events of that summer forever changed them and their art. We hear from a survivor of the Lucky Dragon, a Japanese fishing vessel that on March 1,1954 was in the path of deadly fallout from a 15 megaton thermonuclear test blast whose effects became a rallying cry for the Japanese protesting against nuclear armament and the U.S-Japan security treaty (see top video below). ANPO also incorporates film clips from Japanese classics and riveting archival footage that shows the passion of the protestors who flooded the streets to fight for democracy.

While memories of what happened decades ago during that summer of anger have faded, the legacy of the artists and the protests they captured is more relevant today than ever before. A new government has come to power in Japan, promising to confront Washington over its massive military footprint on Okinawa. A lawsuit by a small group of citizens to protect the Okinawa Manatee and one of the island's last coral reefs from destruction by construction of a new U.S. military base is making headlines and interfering with business as usual between Washington and Tokyo. Interviews with contemporary artists reveal the organic link between Japan’s political history and its broad creative culture and indicate that recent events could again spark a political upheaval not seen since the summer of 1960.

The film was shot in high-definition video by Yamazaki Yutaka, one of Japan’s most accomplished cameramen. He has filmed hundreds of documentaries, worked on the celebrated films of Kore-eda Hirokazu, and filmed the 1960 ANPO protests as a student. Playing a key advisory role is Dr. John Dower, Professor of History at MIT and the author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning Embracing Defeat, the definitive study of postwar Japanese culture and politics.

ANPO aims to entertain its audience with a fascinating look at an unknown period of Japanese activism through the eyes of the world-class Japanese artists who lived the experience. But its lessons about American overreach and the anger its unwanted military presence engenders can just as easily apply to U.S. plans for permanent military bases in Afghanistan and Iraq. As we enter into an age of greater political transparency under different administrations in the U.S. and Japan, now is as pressing a time as ever to examine the complexities and limits of America’s presence on the world stage.

May Peace prevail on Earth, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. For more articles that Dancing Heart has written for Examiner.com, see this link.

I need your support to self-publish my upcoming book!

I'm now on a fast track to get my new book published. I didn't realize until about a month ago that I had a book, and then a title that I'm ready to go with.

My forthcoming book will be titled: The Most Important Day of Your Life: Are You Ready? I hope to wake up the American public a little bit with this title; and I plan to include more personal stories and reflections in this book. After each of the chapters I will also have suggested exercises that readers can practice to help them go deeper spiritually. So it will have the flavor of being a workbook -- a companion book to go with The Last Adventure of Life.

If you are interested in being part of this process, I would very much appreciate your financial support. You can download my preview/pre-order sheet, or go to my website to donate through Paypal or by cc. I'm suggesting that you give $33, the mystical, magical, master number for infinite possibilities! And for those who donate $33 or more, I'll make sure that you receive an autographed copy of my book as soon as it is released -- early May.

You may also be interested that you can now purchase my mini-books -- both the small print and large print versions -- online. Just go to my home page and scroll down. You'll see the Buy Now button on the left side. These lovely little books make great gifts and introduce The Last Adventure of Life in a good way.

Thank you for your beauty, light, and courage! Keep shining in this sometimes very confused and fearful world. And Happy Girls Day (in Japan), all you girls and women out there ;) Infinite Joy and deLight, Dancing heart~~~

p.s. Please have a look at my Examiner.com articles when you get the chance. I have 221 articles posted there now...

Death May Not Be the Big Deal We Make It Out to Be....

I challenged myself to write only 500 words on what I believe about death. Here's what I came up with:

I believe that death is not the big deal we sometimes make it out to be. And I have learned this through the privilege of walking beside those who are preparing to die.

In 1989, I lost my own mother to cancer. Death was a pretty big deal to me then. Afterward, however, I knew on some level that my mother was just fine, probably in heaven. But I hadn’t yet sorted out what I really thought about death.

Then, a few years after mom’s death, I became a hospice worker. I never dreamed I’d learn so much by rubbing shoulders with the dying.

First and foremost, death need not be feared. Rather, when the time comes, death can be embraced with open arms. It is a time for reuniting with the spirit world from which we all come. It is a time for ecstatic celebration and home going. It is a time of connecting with the angels. As one woman posed just before leaving her body: “I see hundreds of angels!”

Secondly, the dying taught me “there is so much more than meets the eye.” I’ve heard about many mystical experiences while journeying with the dying. I have also had my share of such experiences. Once, I walked into a room of a man who asked me later, “Who was that woman who walked in with you when you came into my room?” I was speechless for a time, as I was not aware of anyone with me when I walked into his room. My own mother came to me once, too, through a woman who could read spiritual energy off of people. And mom introduced me to my unborn brother who was the one my mom had miscarried many moons ago!

Thirdly, I have learned that all of life is a kind of preparation for death. Shortly after my book, THE LAST ADVENTURE OF LIFE, was published, I met a young Buddhist volunteer firefighter in a health food store. We got to talking about life and death and my work. The young man exclaimed to me, “In Buddhism, birth is the hard part. Death is easy, because we have the rest of our lives to prepare for it.” Wow, what a concept: We could use the rest of our lives, especially our many goodbyes and farewells, as grist for the mill to prepare for the most important day of our life –- the day of our graduation from earthly life when we are free to release everything and everyone from our lives.

Finally, I’ve made the joy-filled discovery that all of life is interconnected. We are connected with all that is here on earth; we are also connected to all that is in heaven. The more we believe in this Magic of the Universe, the more it comes alive in our lives. The more we believe that synchronicity guides our lives, the more it does. Lastly, “Don’t die wondering," for we just may get exactly what we believe.

See a beautiful song I picked to go with this at my Examiner.com site.

Non-attachment Could Save Your Life This Year -- and Certainly Some Grief!

On this very special, first day of 2010, I invite you to think about how you might bring more non-attachment into your life. It could help you deal with all the changes that are taking place around us in these times. The following piece is called "Non-attachment." A brilliant and inspirational writer and hospice patient of mine, Niah Kinczewski, gave me permission to include it in my book, The Last Adventure of Life, before she died some years ago.

"Some people think that they need to hang on to what they have, for it may be the best they will ever get. If you are thinking about making a change, imagine yourself having something better than you have now. See yourself going through the process easily and feeling happy with the results. Imagine that this will be the best thing that has ever happened to you, even though you might not see why right now. Decide that you are going to trust in your ability to create your higher good, and look forward to the wonderful surprises that are in store for you. …

"Approach change as a great adventure. Believe that all change is for your higher good or it wouldn’t be happening. You can learn to cope with change in joyful, peaceful ways by trusting that the universe is friendly and that your Higher Self loves you and is looking out for you. If your personality isn’t willing to make the needed changes, sometimes your Higher Self will set things up so that change is made for you! Act upon the whispers before they become shouts; make changes your inner self suggests to you.

"One of the most difficult attachments to let go of might be your attachment to your viewpoint, beliefs, and judgments. You are always being challenged to think in new and expansive ways. The path is easy for those who have no preferences and opinions, for they are attachments that can take a lot of your energy. You can ?nd your preferences in even the smallest things, such as the way your food is prepared or the way you drive to work. It is important to discover which preferences truly serve your higher good and which are simply unexamined habits that keep you from discovering new, higher ways to be.

"Start practicing non-attachment by taking one small thing you feel attached to and pretending for one day that you are not attached to it. Become an observer and watch yourself. What habits and routines are you attached to? You don’t have to give up these preferences, only your dependence on them. Once you can be happy with or without them you are free; you can have them in your life or not, without being controlled by them. …

"You may have a belief that says, “If I act like myself, if I ask for what I want, I won’t be loved.” Tell yourself that you can have what you want and that people love you for who you are. You are freer to be creative, grow, and ful?ll your potential when you are not bound by what others think of you. Are the people you admire the most the ones who always seek approval before they do things, or those who trust and act on their own inner messages? You are not responsible for making other people’s lives work: they are! …

"Before you pour energy into changing or assisting people, let go of the need to have other people grow, appreciate you, or act in any particular way. Sometimes the strong desire to have them change may be the very thing that keeps them from growing. As you detach and stop worrying about them, they will be freer to grow.

"As you give freedom to others, you become freer yourself. Over time, people will come and go in your life, and one of the greatest gifts you give others is the freedom to go their own way. To serve others, you will need to learn to let go. Do not worry if some of your friends leave your life, for as you increase your vibration, people will either grow and stay in your life or leave. …

"Developing the quality of non-attachment will give you freedom, expand your world, and give you new opportunities to create and grow. When you aren’t attached to what others think of you or to having things be a certain way, you are free. You will have a sense of well-being no matter what the people around you are doing.

"Literally you create an energy structure in your cells and body that is called being in “a state of grace” when you can live each moment, full of love and joy, trusting that all in the universe is working in your best and highest interests! (Remember, life is meant to be lived in total freedom, and you do have the power to create a “happy ever after ending” to your new beginnings.) Freedom is then, being your Self and loving it!"

-- p. 162-163, The Last Adventure of Life, 2nd edition

If you'd like to see a short video on "Non-attachment" by Pema Chodron, I invite you to see my article at Examiner.com here.

Happy New Year, and Happy Non-attachment to us all in these extraordinary days! Dancing heart~~~