Non-attachment Could Save Your Life This Year -- and Certainly Some Grief!

On this very special, first day of 2010, I invite you to think about how you might bring more non-attachment into your life. It could help you deal with all the changes that are taking place around us in these times. The following piece is called "Non-attachment." A brilliant and inspirational writer and hospice patient of mine, Niah Kinczewski, gave me permission to include it in my book, The Last Adventure of Life, before she died some years ago.

"Some people think that they need to hang on to what they have, for it may be the best they will ever get. If you are thinking about making a change, imagine yourself having something better than you have now. See yourself going through the process easily and feeling happy with the results. Imagine that this will be the best thing that has ever happened to you, even though you might not see why right now. Decide that you are going to trust in your ability to create your higher good, and look forward to the wonderful surprises that are in store for you. …

"Approach change as a great adventure. Believe that all change is for your higher good or it wouldn’t be happening. You can learn to cope with change in joyful, peaceful ways by trusting that the universe is friendly and that your Higher Self loves you and is looking out for you. If your personality isn’t willing to make the needed changes, sometimes your Higher Self will set things up so that change is made for you! Act upon the whispers before they become shouts; make changes your inner self suggests to you.

"One of the most difficult attachments to let go of might be your attachment to your viewpoint, beliefs, and judgments. You are always being challenged to think in new and expansive ways. The path is easy for those who have no preferences and opinions, for they are attachments that can take a lot of your energy. You can ?nd your preferences in even the smallest things, such as the way your food is prepared or the way you drive to work. It is important to discover which preferences truly serve your higher good and which are simply unexamined habits that keep you from discovering new, higher ways to be.

"Start practicing non-attachment by taking one small thing you feel attached to and pretending for one day that you are not attached to it. Become an observer and watch yourself. What habits and routines are you attached to? You don’t have to give up these preferences, only your dependence on them. Once you can be happy with or without them you are free; you can have them in your life or not, without being controlled by them. …

"You may have a belief that says, “If I act like myself, if I ask for what I want, I won’t be loved.” Tell yourself that you can have what you want and that people love you for who you are. You are freer to be creative, grow, and ful?ll your potential when you are not bound by what others think of you. Are the people you admire the most the ones who always seek approval before they do things, or those who trust and act on their own inner messages? You are not responsible for making other people’s lives work: they are! …

"Before you pour energy into changing or assisting people, let go of the need to have other people grow, appreciate you, or act in any particular way. Sometimes the strong desire to have them change may be the very thing that keeps them from growing. As you detach and stop worrying about them, they will be freer to grow.

"As you give freedom to others, you become freer yourself. Over time, people will come and go in your life, and one of the greatest gifts you give others is the freedom to go their own way. To serve others, you will need to learn to let go. Do not worry if some of your friends leave your life, for as you increase your vibration, people will either grow and stay in your life or leave. …

"Developing the quality of non-attachment will give you freedom, expand your world, and give you new opportunities to create and grow. When you aren’t attached to what others think of you or to having things be a certain way, you are free. You will have a sense of well-being no matter what the people around you are doing.

"Literally you create an energy structure in your cells and body that is called being in “a state of grace” when you can live each moment, full of love and joy, trusting that all in the universe is working in your best and highest interests! (Remember, life is meant to be lived in total freedom, and you do have the power to create a “happy ever after ending” to your new beginnings.) Freedom is then, being your Self and loving it!"

-- p. 162-163, The Last Adventure of Life, 2nd edition

If you'd like to see a short video on "Non-attachment" by Pema Chodron, I invite you to see my article at Examiner.com here.

Happy New Year, and Happy Non-attachment to us all in these extraordinary days! Dancing heart~~~