Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Perhaps We Need Not Suffer So When It's 'Time' for Someone's Death?

I came across this article from the New York times this morning, Murderer in the Mirror, by a cancer surgeon, Scott Eggener. It is troubling to me how much anguish our society - and physicians in particular - have about death. It's as if doctors feel that if someone dies on their shift, "under their knife," or when they are on duty, that somehow it is their responsibility - all their fault.

We see this brilliantly portrayed in the film City of Angels, where Meg Ryan plays the part of a heart surgeon. Her patient dies on the operating table; and Meg becomes furious. However, perhaps there's something greater and more profound playing out here? Perhaps we are to see death, somehow, as a blessing when it comes, despite all our human efforts to stave it off?

Here's what I wrote to Dr. Eggener this morning, because I'd like him to open up to another perspective about death:

Dear Dr. Scott Eggener,

Thanks you very much for the heart-felt article you wrote entitled "Murderer in the Mirror." I very much appreciate hearing from the heart of a surgeon such as yourself. I hear the anguish and sorrow in your voice.

However, I'd also like to share my perspective - as a hospice end-of-life counselor and death educator - that whenever death comes, it has it's place. It does not come by accident; and it is not a fluke. Also, the High (God) Self of a human always gives permission before we die.

I believe that as a culture we have a great deal of work to do to bring death "back into the fold of life"! Recently, I saw a documentary called The Sacred Science. In it, a shaman reflects:

Life without death has no meaning. Life does not exist without death.
Wherever there is life there is death. And we cannot hide from it.
Death is a change, a process. It is necessary for life.
Western societies have demonized death. But why? Due to fear and ignorance.
Because there's something to be afraid of after death. What is it? What is God?
They are truly afraid of God, and God is life itself.
So they stay away from death, and by doing so, they stay away from life as well.

It is my fervent hope and prayer that we can learn to honor death in a new way in our society. It is time to see the beauty, the sacredness, and the divine place that death has in each of our lives. Yes, it is sad and creates a sense of "emptiness" when one of our loved ones die. However, they are on their own Sacred Journey; and when they die, they have completed their work and "job" on earth. Now it is our job, as those remaining on earth, to Let Those Who Have Died Go, as gracefully and thoughtfully as possible, into the Next Realm - where they have their own sacred work and journey to continue. We were Blessed by their Presence with us; and now we must trust that they - as well as we - will continue to be blessed by the New Realm they're in, and the new chapter in life that's opening up to them. 

I welcome you to visit my website,, for more about my work and mission.

Be well, and Stay Blessed on the Journey, Maria Dancing Heart

ps. I would be delighted if you would like to see my books. I can send you autographed copies if you'd make a donation at either, or (scroll down to donate - $33 will cover the two books, and shipping as well.)

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